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Top photo by Chris Guy, via. He's talking to Val, who's in her sixties. She's Shemale Londonderry County Borough tour a pair of bunny ears and is naked beneath her towel. Val's mate Pam — also in her sixties and dressed in a negligee with a severe Harriet Harman bowl haircut — watches the onscreen action with interest as three enthusiastic young women take it in turns to fellate a man with a limp dick and the lifeless eyes of someone who really shouldn't have taken a bunch of coke before turning up to a porn shoot.

Trying to Becontee my bearings I wander out into the bar fully dressed. George looks me up and down and shakes his head. A quick change later, and Big George shows me round.

There is a sauna, steam room and two jacuzzis, along with a number of themed "couples rooms" — private spaces with red female silhouettes painted on the doors, containing double beds with thin plastic mattresses.

The place is filling up now, the crowd jan composed of middle-aged geezers and their wives, with a few younger swingers in their twenties rounding everything.

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